Apr. 2026
It’s been a while since I’ve left my thoughts here. My family has expanded (through both nephews and marriages) and by extension my heart. After working in software for the last seven years, I find myself often times wondering what I want to do next. Thus far, it’s been easy to center myself on that next promotion, that next title, that next deliverable. Now that I’m reaching a point in my career considered “terminal” by some folks, I still have that drive, but nowhere obvious to put it.
I’ve considered non-profits. The opportunity to contribute to a company pushing a righteous cause is enticing. Even more-so, the opportunity to work with folks who genuinely care about the well-being of their customers and society as a whole seems paramount. Is it a moral vindication I crave or a yearning for a group of folks passionate about the problem at hand?
I look to my family. My dad, a successful lawyer in his own right, entirely self-made. My brother, a dedicated worker and someone you can always rely on. My sister, a therapist and counselor who bridges the gap and helps so many heal through what seems unhealable. My mother, a hard worker, yes, but someone who considers family paramount and was the best Mom for it. Somtimes I feel torn between compassion and grit, as if they demand separate lives, separate toil. I suspect they are the same and my mind likes to compartmentalize these moments into a binary. Zeroes and ones. The programmer in me.
If I grind in corporate America, will it create social impact? Will I be better for it? Will my compensation be the sole weight of my soul? If I sacrifice my financial well-being for the good of society, do I put at risk my child’s future? Or their children? Then there’s AI reshaping the ground beneath me. Maybe I need to get in while the getting is good.
I’ve spent many a call with colleagues attempting to discern my path and parse my tea leaves. Sometimes I feel none the wiser. Other times, it’s like I can hear my path calling to me.
I’ve been focusing on myself these last few months; improving my software development and AI programming skills. I wonder if I should become an author, a carpenter, a librarian, a barber. The older I get, the more I realize the most important thing is not the career, but the life outside it. I see my siblings have kids and I realize I probably don’t want to be an author, a carpenter, a librarian, a barber… not even a developer. I probably just want to be a Dad.